The Four Dragon Kings of the Theme Parks

When it comes to mythical beasts, dragons are royalty.  Unicorns are upper class, a little bit snooty, sort of pampered.  Griffins are middle class, your sort of everyday run-of-the-mill hybrid creatures, and jackalopes are like the serfs tending to the fields and making jokes about the unicorns behind their backs.  The other mythical beasts fall […]

You’re Fat!

  At least according to statistics you are.  If you are an American then chances are good that you can’t fit into those huge pants of yours and it’s all Disney’s fault.   Donald’s Lipitor prescription has not helped.   Disney is pushing the Disney Dining plan these days… hard.  It’s not because they are […]

Disney World’s Ugliest Show Building

You may have noticed that is looking a little different lately.  Please do not be alarmed.  We are merely refurbishing this area for your future enjoyment.  Plus, we have a bet with Madonna to see who can reinvent themselves the most.  So far the score is Parkeology: 2, Madonna 141.  But if we find […]

Pitching a tent.

Camping sucks. You may catch poison ivy, be ravaged by malaria-riddled mosquitoes, or get mauled by a rabid squirrel all the while avoiding molestation by marauding hill-folk. Michael Eisner even wrote a book called “Camp” and you know that can’t be good. Wanna go camp’n? Where is the fun in eating canned meat and sleeping on […]

Disappearing Aliens

Magic is the tool of choice for Imagineering, and perhaps no trick is so astounding as when they make awesome Tomorrowland attractions disappear.  You know.  The classics:  Skyway, Alien Encounter, Timekeeper… Not so fast, Delta Dreamflight. On occasion, Imagineering has been known to work a little magic inside an attraction as well.  Stitch’s Great Escape […]

Sinister Shipments From Adventureland

Or, The Bizarre Bazaar:  How I Spent My Vacation Researching Morbid Death Camps. It’s always such a chore picking post headlines here in the Parkeology offices.  I always like the funny, alliterative ones, but they usually aren’t very descriptive.  Wouldn’t it be great if Adventureland’s Agrabah Bazaar sold brassieres?  That would be a headline I […]