Chasing the Moon

I never bought a pair of Mouse Ears, though I did receive one as a gift.

I own very few collectible pins, most of which were won during a couple stints on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire Play It, and the rest as perks from various races and events and things.
During an unfortunate episode in the 90s, I once bought a couple of Walt Disney Classics Collection figurines, until I figured out that for the price of a dozen, I could buy a decent used car.
But I have to admit, I dig the Vinylmation.
Now I try to be very restrained in my purchases, because this could spiral out of control quickly, but have you seen these new Park Starz figures? They are Vinylmations without the traditional Mickey shape, each one custom molded to a very abstract representation of something from the parks. And incidentally, there is a Vinylmation spoiler below, so tread lightly.
For those of you that don’t know, Vinylmations are bought sight unseen. You never know which one you’re going to get (hopefully one you don’t already own). And to make things even more interesting, there is also a secret “chaser” figure in every set, that is not shown on the display.
I already owned a Tiki Bird, a Small World dude, and a Horizons Robot (and I am seriously considering starring them in a youtube sitcom sort of like Three’s Company). But check out the one I got recently.
Is it hot in here, or is it just you, baby?
Blue leisure suit disco pose. Disturbingly-shaped nose. Bushy painted eyebrows. Yes, that is none other than the Funmeister!
The eponymous mascot of Pleasure Island’s nightly New Year’s Eve party is the chaser for the Park Starz set, and frankly, I couldn’t be happier. That is a nice, obscure reference that rewards the true fan, and is one of the things I love about the Vinylmation series. This is the first chaser I have ever owned, and I’m proud to say I got him legitimately (no ebay or trading — just a lucky pick from the box).
It seemed very serendipitous, this being New Year’s week and all. And Funmeister is rapidly becoming something of a parkeology mascot. I’m seriously thinking of starting another youtube sitcom called “Famed Naturalist John Muir and the Funmeister.” They would live in an apartment in New York and John would be the stuffy roommate, but the Funmeister would always be getting them into hilarious hijinks. And maybe a Country Bear lives across the hall as an annoying neighbor or something.
Anyway, I kind of just wanted to post this to make Teevtee jealous, since he was the original Funmeister champion.
Have a Happy New Year!

One Golden Sun

Will someone please call the fire department? I don’t mean to cause any panic, but one Richard Morton Sherman’s pants are on fire.

I’ve always been taught that there’s just one moon and one golden sun. And a smile means friendship to everyone, unless you’re a mentally unstable Batman villain or a crocodile.

Or in some cases, both.

But let’s take a little trip, shall we? It’s a Small World, very first room, right when you enter:

Hey, One Golden Sun! Or possibly a ninja star being thrown by reindeer. Now let’s just circle around Scandinavia for a second…

“I’m from Holland! Isn’t that vierd?”

A sun wearing a hat, which is how fashionable yellow dwarf stars like to be seen in public. The windmill in the foreground is being pursued by Don Quixote, who you can see here:

He’s blurry because he’s crazy.

That’s like a whole ‘nother sun on the other side of the windmill. For those of you keeping score at home, we still haven’t left the first room of It’s a Small World, and already we have more suns than Tatooine.

But fewer womp rats.

Leaving the first room, we sail into India.

Where the sun is about to stick up a train.

And from India, it is only natural to go to China.

As if we were Nixon. Oh, just google it.
Sailing out of China into Egypt, because I’m pretty sure they share a border. Note that here we get the first animated sun effect, a series of swirling light patterns. This is also what happens to your vision if you try to watch a solar eclipse without looking through that little hole in the cardboard box.
Also note the rare palm dwelling camel, the only camel to spend its entire life without ever touching the ground.
It’s just a hop, skip and a jump to Latin America, home of the creepiest singing scarecrows this side of Oz. Note that we finally have a truly animated sun, with beams rotating behind other beams in a pulsating pattern, which I find kind of hypnotic.
Mariachi cactus!
And then on to Polynesia, home of my favorite Small World sun. I like how truly evil it looks. Clearly it is upset about the hula-dancing witches being burned at stake.

And finally the last room, which I always think of as Antarctica, mainly because of the cool color palette, and also because Antarctica is home to seven of the world’s top ten roller coasters.

As well as stunning hot air balloon tours with clowns.

That’s a lot of suns. Nine of them, to be exact — more than there are planets in our solar system (since Pluto recently got sacked). So thanks for all the ruined dreams of childhood, Dick Sherman. Why don’t you go back to swimming in your big pool full of hundred dollar bills?

Hey, at least you got the “just one moon” part right.

Shades of the Funmeister.

T-Shirt Correction League

So I was browsing through a shop at the Magic Kingdom. I think it was Sir Mickey’s (a.k.a. the best shop in Fantasyland), and I came across a t-shirt.

I think this is a new line of interactive clothing from the makers of fine Disney threads. The goal is to look at the picture and see if you can spot all the things wrong with it.

Let’s see how I do…

  • The real Main Street U.S.A. is in color, and the picture is in black and white.
  • Mickey Mouse is a cartoon character, not a real person.
  • The trolley tracks don’t end suddenly into a great white void
  • Main Street usually has people on it.
  • It’s not raining right now, so the street shouldn’t be wet.
  • Walt Disney is dead, but the picture shows him as alive.

Let’s see, am I missing anything?

Oh yeah. That ain’t the Magic Kingdom. Nice try, Disney Merchandisers.