Will someone please call the fire department? I don’t mean to cause any panic, but one Richard Morton Sherman’s pants are on fire.
I’ve always been taught that there’s just one moon and one golden sun. And a smile means friendship to everyone, unless you’re a mentally unstable Batman villain or a crocodile.
|Or in some cases, both.|
But let’s take a little trip, shall we? It’s a Small World, very first room, right when you enter:
Hey, One Golden Sun! Or possibly a ninja star being thrown by reindeer. Now let’s just circle around Scandinavia for a second…
|“I’m from Holland! Isn’t that vierd?”|
A sun wearing a hat, which is how fashionable yellow dwarf stars like to be seen in public. The windmill in the foreground is being pursued by Don Quixote, who you can see here:
|He’s blurry because he’s crazy.|
That’s like a whole ‘nother sun on the other side of the windmill. For those of you keeping score at home, we still haven’t left the first room of It’s a Small World, and already we have more suns than Tatooine.
|But fewer womp rats.|
Leaving the first room, we sail into India.
|Where the sun is about to stick up a train.|
And from India, it is only natural to go to China.
|As if we were Nixon. Oh, just google it.|
|Also note the rare palm dwelling camel, the only camel to spend its entire life without ever touching the ground.|
And finally the last room, which I always think of as Antarctica, mainly because of the cool color palette, and also because Antarctica is home to seven of the world’s top ten roller coasters.
|As well as stunning hot air balloon tours with clowns.|
That’s a lot of suns. Nine of them, to be exact — more than there are planets in our solar system (since Pluto recently got sacked). So thanks for all the ruined dreams of childhood, Dick Sherman. Why don’t you go back to swimming in your big pool full of hundred dollar bills?
Hey, at least you got the “just one moon” part right.
|Shades of the Funmeister.|