Awesome Park Merchandise – March 2013

Posted on March 30, 2013 by shane

One of the things I like to do from time to time is just provide pictures of various merchandise items I come across while visiting the parks. These usually take the form of clever t-shirts. Today, I’d like to branch away from that, by starting with more clever t-shirts, but ending with two other really cool items that have tempted my pocketbook.

But like I said, first I’ll make you wade through the t-shirts.

One dwarf short.

We begin in Norway, where I am digging this simple Viking version of a bunch of drunk college guys spelling out their team name on their chests with war paint. The vikings are strikingly similar to those in a recent successful animated film, which makes you wonder if the merchandisers are trying to steal credit for How To Train Your Dragon. But I like it anyway.

At the other end of the Norway spectrum, you have this:

Yes, that’s a t-shirt.

Great! A photo-realistic viking costume printed on your chest! Kind of puts those tuxedo shirts to shame.

I do love it when they go through the effort of doing not just generic stuff that can be sold anywhere in the park, but when they limit themselves to one specific area of the park, like the Norway shirts above, or these next four character shirts from the United Kingdom.

Sour Minnie

Mickey butt shot

Guard duck

Buckingham Goofy

Ah, that Goofy! Isn’t he just hilarious? This next one is being sold at Star Tours over at the Studios. It actually looks like it is a Disney shirt, but I think it might just be a funny Star Wars one. Either way, it works.

At the Studios, I also came across two other non-torso-draping items, which are really kind of delightful. I presume this next one is also available at Magic Kingdom:

What better way to commemorate your vacation than miniature graves?

How awesome is that? Little paperweight Mansion tombstones! Those are very nicely detailed, maybe three or four inches tall. They should release a complete set of these.

And here’s something that is rather ingenious:

Replica Disposable Cups!

I flat out love this one. That is a drink cup design from Walt Disney World’s early years, printed on what is actually a ceramic mug with a hard plastic straw and rubber lid. Who would have thought we’d see the day when the fast food trash got its own line of merchandise? Thirty years from now, perhaps we’ll see some embroidered cloth napkins that look exactly like the paper ones from Epcot. Sign me up.

Lending a Helping Hand

Posted on March 26, 2013 by Teevtee

In 2011 shortly after the tsunami struck Japan and created an unprecedented series of tragic events we posted a tribute of sorts to the Tokyo Disney resort, you can read it here: http://www.parkeology.com/2011/03/so-story-goes.html.

Though this Braille map is meant for those who cannot see it is really beautiful nonetheless.

About a year ago (one year after the tsunami) we were back in Tokyo and were thrilled to find it every bit as wonderful as it has always been. Moreover the parks were running as if nothing had happened. The facilities were of course flawless, the cast members out in force and as dedicated as ever and perhaps most importantly the guests seemed to be carefree and having great fun. I imagine that after dealing with such difficulties having some fun is quite important. As a side note the crowds were extremely light. This may simply be because we visited at a good time of year that is considered the low season but there may be some residual impact on attendance still going on.

The Tokyo Disney Sea brail map is nice and all, but not on par with the Tokyo Disneyland version.

The Tokyo Disney Sea Braille map is nice and all, but not on par with the Tokyo Disneyland version.

In that 2011 post we took a look at the “Story Cards” the parks have for hearing impaired gusts and occasionally confused foreigners (more here). We also briefly touched on another interesting and unique service the Japanese offer guests, one that is again indicative of the care and respect they have for all guests; the scale models used to aid visually impaired guests.

Those yellow paths are textured, you can feel them under your feet. Combined with audio cues they can guide sight impaired people throughout the entire city.

Today we are taking a closer look at these wonderful models available at guest services in both Tokyo Disneyland and Tokyo Disney Sea. These are hand made wooden replicas of the various attraction ride vehicles as well as certain show buildings. Guests in need are allowed to touch and examine the models to gain an understanding of what they may not be able to see. I have never seen anything like this in another theme park or anywhere else I have ever visited.

This one is not so much to be touched but to let folks know that they are available… of course if you cannot see this one it does not do much good.

In fact Japan has many aids for people with different disabilities. One will find not only the standard Braille in elevators and so on but also audible beeps at cross sections altering people when the walk sign is on and tactile paving throughout most public streets and train stations that guide those without sight were to walk and warn them of intersections. The tactile paving was invented in Japan in the 1960’s and is now ubiquitous throughout the country, not just at cross walks but throughout huge swaths of cities and public spaces.

What the heck is that one on the bottom right?

Atttractions big and small are represented in these Tokyo Disney Sea models. Even entire buildings in some cases.

Despite this it is not as if Japan has a disproportionate population of those without sight. Throughout all my visits I have seen one visually impaired person, not actually at the parks but rather in down town Tokyo. The Japanese don’t do it because they have to, they do this because care is a part of the culture and that same idea extends to the Disney parks.

The tentacles are rubbery and soft

If they only sold them I woudl buy a complete set… they are amazing.

Sinbad boats on top and the Venetian Gondolas on bottom.

The Journey to the Center of the Earth vehicles are awesome even in plain wood.

Some really cool things done for a nice reason. We may be getting interactive rubber bracelets that allow us to be tracked and marketed to but the Japanese get these… as they say it’s better than a poke in the eye… or in this case maybe because of a poke to the eye.

Tokyo Disneyland has them as well.

At Tokyo Disney Sea they have a fully painted model (a sub from Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea) on display while the actual models meant for use are plain unpainted wood. There are shelves that house the entire range of attractions and buildings. I think the folks working guest relations found it quite funny that some American guy wanted to see them and photograph them. At first they had to ask permission to do so (something that always happens at all levels in Japan). After they were allowed to show us the girls working the counter could not stop giggling… I guess to them it is just very commonplace so taking photos of them might be like taking photos of a fire extinguisher or something… they just never thought about doing so.

Can you name them all?

Thoe lucky blind people… they get all the cool stuff!

In addition to the models they have brail maps (which I believe the U.S. parks have as well) but they have other really nice offerings to those who could use them.

Not a fancy vending machine (though they certainly have those) but rather video previews of all the rides… can I get a copy to take home please?

There is a video kiosk sitting unassumingly to the side of the guest relations area. It has a touch screen display and visitors can select any attraction the park offers. After picking it a video preview of the attraction is played. This helps people understand what the ride is about and gauge whether they would enjoy it or not. What a great idea! Sure, it does give away some surprises but if you are physically unsure if you can handle a ride this approach is so much more efficient than simply hearing a description… and frankly they are just fun to watch.

It’s cool how even utilitarian devices are themed… this one is for the Magic Lamp Theater.

If you don’t speak Japanese or are deaf certain attactions have hand held devices that sync with the show. You are issued one of these and can follow along with the performance, even certain live action shows.

OK, service dogs for those with hearing and sight issues… and um, those who require canine valentines?

Whether you need them or simply appreciate them the fact that Disney has these measures available is really great. I’d love to see this type of thing in the U.S. just because it is that extra layer that makes things special… plus I want to buy them!

The Myth of Skull Rock

Posted on March 19, 2013 by shane

You remember the classic scene in Peter Pan. It sets the stage for the central conflict of the story. The more I think about it, the more I think it might be based on the historical Battle of Tippecanoe, which was fought in my hometown more than 200 years ago. It has all the touch points: Vaguely imperialistic villains, horrific massacre of the Native American population, an iconic rock formation, an elfin white boy protagonist.

Tippecanoe and Tinkerbell too!

Skull Rock is one of those great, scenic locations that tourists love, because when you’re on spring break, nothing sounds better than coming face to face with a giant death’s head. Peter Pan’s Flight has always had some form of it in the ride, and Disneyland used to have a life-sized version outdoors in Fantasyland. Disneyland Paris still has it. There’s even a cool Skull Rock formation inside one of the caves on Tom Sawyer’s Island.

Recently, a Skull Rock was added to the Pirates of the Caribbean.

I haven’t seen this particular formation talked about much. It was added late last year as part of the infamous “mermaid” additions. I am completely hypnotized by it, and I can’t understand why it hasn’t been receiving its due. Either I was asleep the week that everyone already talked about it ad infinitum and nobody cares anymore (entirely possible), or I’m the only one in the entire fan community who appreciates just how wicked cool it is (yeah right).

Thanks to Kevin Yee (ultimateorlando.com, miceage.com), I have a picture I can share. It’s been greatly brightened, because that scene is dark (in more ways than one).

That pirate died of crabs. Har har.

Not bad, right? it’s a nice little skull shaped rock formation just after the mermaids in the water, but before the mermaid on the beach. I’m diggin’ it all over again.

But you might be asking yourself why I think it’s so awesome. As shown in this picture, it’s sorta nice for some background ambience, but really it’s no big deal. The Skull Rock in Peter Pan’s Flight is much more prominent and graphic. But what may not be obvious is that you are looking at one of the really clever visual effects in the entire ride.

I think Skull doesn’t get noticed, because of the mermaids. At roughly the spot where the above picture is taken, there are glowing mermaids swimming through the water beside your boat. They’re too distracting for anyone to worry about a silly old background rock. And by the time you’re done looking at them, your attention is immediately drawn to the beach, with the skeletons and that snapping animated crab.

But if you would just look to your left as you floated towards the beach, you would experience the thrill of watching that Skull Rock completely vanish.

The whole thing is a Perspective Sculpture. It only takes shape when viewed from a particular angle — in this case, straight on (one might even say dead on, ho ho). It’s almost impossible to see in this picture, but the nasal cavity is a couple formations, the right eye another formation, and the left eye still yet another formation. Even the stones making up the teeth are separate, jutting out of the water.

Worst artist’s representation ever

As seen in my stunning graphic above (drawn from memory in photoshop without regard for quality), the whole thing looks positively Dali-esque from the side, and not a single bit like a skull. Even the various eye-holes and things are not always true holes, but a series of concavities and overlays that just happen to line up perfectly from one angle.

Perspective Sculptures can be a lot of fun. You can see a lot of pretty elaborate ones here (warning: One of the images in the slideshow is NSFW). I think it’s cool that the Imagineers added one to the Florida Pirates, and try as I might, I just can’t seem to find hardly any mention of it. Check it out next time you’re complaining about how inferior the Florida Pirates ride is!

The Luscious Lavish Lawn Mower Tree

Posted on March 6, 2013 by shane

Long ago, when I was just a boy, my family brought us to Fort Wilderness. Not to camp, of course. We weren’t paying no $20 for a camp site. Not when we had a van, and there were plenty of empty parking lots.

I have fragmented memories of this visit. I’m pretty sure it involved a walk on the beach, where brain-eating meningitis was an absent threat, and scores of tourists splashed in the waves of the watercraft as they ferried guests to and from Discovery Island.

There was something called the Hoop Dee Doo Revue. We didn’t eat there, of course. No way were we paying no $15 a head for fried chicken and country songs. But we walked around Pioneer Hall, fantasizing we were rustic outdoorsmen like Han Solo.

At the end of one path was a place called River Country, which Disney billed as a recreation of an “ol’ fashioned swimmin’ hole.” Marketers have known for years that kids are drawn to anything labeled “old fashioned.” And as a former kid, let me tell you, nothing sounds as thoroughly refreshing as swimming in a hole. And to top it off, when you intentionally drop consonants, it just colors the whole thing with the thrill of cheatin’ death.

We did not swim, of course. My daddy weren’t paying no $12 a head. The brain-eating meningitis of the lake water was good enough for us, by george. But we did stand out by a covered wagon and watch the young families in their ol’ fashioned swimmin’ trunks walk through the turnstiles into a paradise of leaky water towers and faux mudslides. And we did not envy them in the least.

Yet there is one thing I remember very clearly about that early visit to Fort Wilderness, and it was free, which meant we spent several minutes looking at it. The name on the plaque identified it as the Lawn Mower Tree. It was a typical Florida tree, with gnarled, knobby roots and a wide leafy canopy. At its base entangled in the roots, were the rusty remains of an old lawn mower.

The plaque had a whole story to go with it. I’m paraphrasing, but according to legend, Farmer Such-and-Such parked his lawnmower near this tree way back in 19-freakin-31, and went inside for a glass of whatever. When he returned later, the tree had grown so much that the roots had begun to devour the lawn mower. And rather than chop it out, Farmer Such-and-Such left it behind and bought himself a riding John Deere.

I found the story enthralling, mainly because I think the plaque writer was unaware just how sinister and Stephen King-ish it sounded. I mean, the farmer stepped away, but for how long? Just enough to drink his lemonade? Overnight? All winter? How much time does it take a tree to suck an entire piece of mechanical equipment into its dry, bony root base?

Kids were sleeping next to these succubus Floridian plants, in bare camp sites in the middle of nowhere! Who knows how many tents these things devoured! Does the blood of lost children still course in the underground rivers below Fort Wilderness, polluting Bay Lake with more brain-eating meningitis?

At the time, I had no doubt the story was legit, a local Floridian legend. I suppose it’s possible that some hillbilly really did lose his lawnmower to this tree, in a non-sinister way (a decade absence or something) long before Disney every bought the land. In retrospect, it’s also just hokey enough that it could have been a Disney gag. If so, it seems like a lot of effort for the landscapers to find an omnivorous tree and plant it over a lawn mower.

At this point, I’m going to assume the truth is somewhere in the middle. That the tree was there before Disney got there and had somehow overgrown onto some deserted machinery. The story with the farmer leaving his mower unattended is probably an embellishment.

Last weekend, I found myself at Fort Wilderness again, and resolved to go looking for the tree. I’m happy to report it’s still there.

The plaque is long gone. In fact, so is most of the tree. It’s a bit of Disney history swallowed up by time. How many tourists walk by it today completely unaware of the legend? Every single darn one of them, I’m sure.

Like a skeletal finger from the loose Florida soil…

But somebody in horticulture has left the stump of this thing in place, so as to not upset the druid demon spawn that lives in it. And the rusted bits of the mower can still be found in its roots.

Buried alive is nothing, next to the terror of being eaten by a tree. If you go there, check out both the front and back of the tree. There are metal bits on both sides.

For those of you who wish to make your own pilgrimage, it’s right next to the sidewalk on the left side of the path as you approach the marina. It’s a thin stump very near where the golf carts are parked.

If you visit, say hello for me. And then say a prayer. And bring a sacrifice.

Blissfully unaware that they are parked next to a portal to hell.

7 Crazy Niche Markets Discovered by Disney

Posted on March 3, 2013 by shane

Lots of companies are good at bludgeoning you with the necessity of their products (posted from my iPhone). But only Disney can take the most bizarre niche market opportunities and then sell the heck out of it to a captive audience. Is the Mouse House some kind of marketing Rain Main, with unexplainable abilities? Or is it Tom Cruising its way to a quick buck?

It seems to have exploded in the last 15 years. Weird stuff that no sane person would ever think worthy of selling in a theme park. But not only did Disney sell it, they figured out a way to make it pervasive, so much that many of these things are not only part of the normal Disney experience, but even the competitors are copying them.

And it all began with…

1. Pin Trading

As collectible markets go, little custom pins do not seem all that lucrative. Pins serve no practical purpose. They are decorative — even gaudy — and almost assuredly overpriced. You buy it for the design, and for their function as a small memento of your vacation, and to assuage that strange human desire to “collect them all.”

Yet somehow Disney took this little keepsake and rocketed it into mainstream tourist must-have. They did it with something called a lanyard.

“Lanyard” was not even in my vocabulary in the late 90s, maybe because I wasn’t going to a lot of sales conferences at that stage of my career. The first time I saw one, I thought it was a camera strap. (kids, a “camera strap” is a lanyard that used to carry an expensive and bulky photo-taking piece of equipment during the 40 years the Jews were wandering in the wilderness). Disney started tacking these collectible pins to these straps and allowing Cast Members and guests alike to wear them around their neck for display, like Flava Flav, only without any useful time management devices.

A different pin for every minute of the year!

With the pins now fully on display, they next set up entire tents where guests could interact and trade them. A constitutional amendment was enacted, requiring Cast Members to perform any trade asked of them, setting the civil rights movement back several generations.

Disney started offering “limited” editions of some pins, and suddenly the commonplace art of buying crap at a theme park turned into some sort of Mel Brooks mad-cap adventure, with guests competing for the select few of each new design, which seem to get introduced every 2.6 seconds.

I honestly thought the pin trading craze would wear off in a year or two, as soon as people figured out just how much money was being flushed down the toilet in pursuit of a glorified tie tack. But the industry is bigger than ever.

I recall overhearing some collector at one of the trading stations (who carried all his pins in a matching 5-piece luggage set, with a few hundred left over for a chain mail vest). He was telling another guest that these pins represented his retirement portfolio. I wondered what had happened to common sense, and silently hoped that his back-up plan wasn’t Beanie Babies. I never got sucked into the craze myself.

Except once. I mean, come on! It’s so cute!

2. Candy Apples

Okay, so this one isn’t as lucrative as the pin trading. For one thing, you can’t trade apples, because they turn brown too quickly. And if you stick too many on a lanyard, you just end up looking like you’re trying to ward off vampires. But there was a time when if your name wasn’t Snow White, Disney apples came in 2 flavors: Candy Apple Red and Carmel.

These days, if you’re eating a plain candy apple, you are identifying yourself as a member of a bygone American society that still churns butter and rides horse buggies.

Apple confections are everywhere now, from Mike Wazowski eyeballs to sugar-coated mouse undershorts. They’ve got marshmallows glued on in the shape of ears. Some half dipped in chocolate, half in butter, half in bacon grease (150% coverage!). A few of them have been merged with so many different unhealthy substances, they’re now honorary members of the Belushi family. The apple is just a frame to hold the candy-sugarfat masterpiece on. If you eat one of these things a day, the doctor isn’t going to stay away. He’s going to personally back the ambulance into your driveway.

3. Ear Hats

Like the apples, the traditional Disney mouse ears came in two flavors: Plain black, and Plain black with your name stitched on the back. They had a simple, dare I say elegant, design. Now they have so many different mouse hats, with so much crap stuck on them, you’d think they were iconic pieces of architecture.

Mouse hats are not just for mice anymore. Every major character has one. Mater, Dumbo, Goofy, Lightning, R2-D2. There are mouse hats with princess tiaras, mouse hats in the style of World Showcase pavilions, mouse ears that are actually rabbit ears from a character Walt once drew in the 1920s . Kids today are no longer content with a simple mouseketeer logo and chin strap. Now we need a Peter Pan feather, a duck bill, and some blinky LED lights to make sure we don’t feel ridiculous.

Trivia question: How many of these would Annette be caught dead in?

Even crazier, Disney has now started introducing souvenir miniature mouse hats, for when you want the mouse hat experience, but don’t want to cave to the societal pressures of wearing them on your head — or if you just have a really sick desire to humiliate your pet.

4. Disney Vacation Club

Disney didn’t invent the time share. That idea had been patented decades ago by Satan. But Disney did invent the idea of Time Share Kiosks in a theme park, and they seem to have crammed one into every major land of every theme park, and into every resort lobby, water park locker area, and soon into at least one restroom stall.

Part of the genius is that they never actually call them time-shares. It’s a “vacation club.” How awesome does that sound? I don’t know about you, but to me that sounds like monthly get-togethers with other vacation aficionados, where we roast marshmallows, show slides, and get sneak peeks at exclusive vacations from celebrity guests. It certainly doesn’t give off the aura of bad real estate investment!

Forgive me, all you DVC members. I don’t mean to say you made a bad financial decision, and I’m sure all the perks are worth whatever child you had to sell into slave labor. It’s just that Disney had the impossible idea of putting not one, but dozens of booths into the parks, staffed by people whose job it is to get you to agree to leave said park (for which you probably paid upwards of $100 per head) for three hours to be shuttled to a sales pitch where you will be asked for a minimum investment of several thousand dollars. If that doesn’t sound like a setup for failure, I don’t know what does.

Jam packed with people, just like it always is.

Yet somehow, it must be working, because these booths keep popping up and DVC is growing like wild fire. Soon there will be more DVC rooms available on Disney property than there are roving flocks of cheerleaders at Hollywood Studios, and that’s when we’ll know the terrorists have won.

5. Character Greeting Areas

This one isn’t something directly monetized, but to old timers like me, it’s almost inconceivable that today’s guests view the character experience as on par or even more important than hitting major attractions like Space Mountain, Big Thunder, or the Swiss Family Treehouse (hey, I can dream). Characters were part of the background scenery in the early days of the park, a bit of spice to season the mixture.

But something seemed to change in the last 15 years. Guests are now really excited to get their picture with a kid in a stuffy, vision-impaired costume. The idea of a cordoned-off, themed location with a proper queue and FastPass for a character meet-and-greet would have been crazy talk in 1985. But when princesses can command 60-minute wait times and entire buildings in Adventureland have been taken over by young women in fairy costumes, the old-fashioned rides and attractions are starting to take a back seat.

As a sign of the changing times, look no further than New Fantasyland. When it was first presented to the public, it did have a new Ariel ride, but the overwhelming majority of the land was taken up by acres of princess greeting areas. Snow White’s cottage, Sleeping Beauty’s cottage, Cinderella’s Chateau, Belle’s cottage (for princesses, they seem to spend a lot of time in log cabins). Someone finally wised up and axed most of the cottages, replacing them a rollercoaster so that somebody who wasn’t an 8-year-old girl would have something to do. But the characters didn’t go away. They just kicked out a Magic Kingdom original ride and turned it into a princess fairy tale hall.

Look at all the Disney marketing of the day. Along with the obligatory shots of spinning teacups and expertly photographed fireworks, it’s almost non-stop images of children running hand-in-hand with Woody and Buzz, teasing Chip and Dale, dancing with Sleeping Beauty.

Look at the size of that noggin. No chance of this ever causing nightmares.

The character craze shows no sign of abating, and Disney will cash in any way they can. Hiring a college girl for a summer to wear a mermaid fin is infinitely cheaper than building a replica of Mount Everest. They’ll sell blank books of stationary in the gift shop for those autograph hounds who love the thrill of getting a celebrity signature, but without the hassle of actually getting a celebrity signature.

And then, because Disney wants to see just how much the average consumer is willing to part with their cash for no good reason, they’ll staff these character greeting areas with something called…

6. PhotoPass

The idea of an event photographer is not a new one, thanks to weddings, proms, and in some tasteless cases, funerals. But only Disney could take the great American tradition of family vacation photos and turn it into a chance to make some money. And rather than hiring some photographer to follow you around to a hundred different locations, they hired a hundred photographers to lurk in spots where you might turn up.

It used to be that Disney would market how friendly their Cast Members were, because they were always so willing to stop their jobs for a moment to snap a picture with your camera. Now those same Cast Members will use their own camera as well, and would love to be able to charge you for the privilege. The fact that the program is so successful is one of the great indicators of our society’s capacity for laziness. Rather than lug around a camera, we’d rather just pay some else to stash one reasonably close to attractive scenery. The fact that we all have 42 megapixel cameras on our iPhones apparently has yet to cross our minds.

7. Surveys

At first, this doesn’t look like it belongs on this list. But that’s because you’re not the market. Surveys are big business in the company, and fetch top dollar. It doesn’t matter that the customer is internal. What matters is that Disney now has an intrusive, statistical monster that can prove whether the marketing campaign it has been running in Ames, Iowa is working.

Survey takers have multiplied in droves in the past decade. You simply cannot leave a park these days without seeing at least three or four of them roaming the exits, trying to ask you about your day. Or accosting you as you enter the gates, asking you your zipcode. It’s so bad they now roam in packs throughout the parks, circulating through various lands to garner that oh-so-valuable feedback and to devour the occasional wildebeest.

There is simply no logical reason why a guest would agree to be part of this, other than the sheer human guilt of saying no to a polite question. There is no tangible benefit offered to the customer, and in fact it is disruptive in the extreme. You are trying to get somewhere (usually in or out), and somebody with an ipad is stopping you and asking if you can answer 45 brief questions.

Want evidence that surveys play a huge part in the decision making of the company? Look no further than the NextGen roll-out, where more than a billion dollars in technology investment has been spent almost entirely because “surveys indicate our guests hate lines.” There are other reasons too, such as allowing Disney to sell Character-themed armbands at an upcharge (which will no doubt appear on this list 5 years from now as another crazy discovered market), but the line thing is the biggest. And somehow, they need commonsense to be verified by a survey.

All I can say is, I’m glad Walt always tried to give the public what he imagined they wanted, rather than what they told him they wanted. If it was up to them, we’d still be mired in Jack Sparrow sequels and Epcot would be overrun with Mickey and the gang.

Oh. Crap.

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Monthly Archives: March 2013