5 Times Ben Franklin Made Me Want to Punch Him

Ben Franklin is an unrepentant theme park windbag and he deserves to have his butt kicked. I’m not going to focus on the petty stuff, because that is beneath me. If you want to wear your stringy dishwater hair like a half-bald Michael Bolton, more power to you. Nor will I pick on his frilly-suit/white-socks ensemble. […]

Admiral EO Indicted by Cosmos Corp Tribunal

Effective December 6, the Corp has unexpectedly ceased all space missions and recalled dozens of starships back to base, following allegations of corruption and mismanagement within the High Command. At the center of this debacle, of course, is the infamous Admiral EO. EO is no stranger to controversy. When he first joined the Corp in the early […]

Jar Jar Binks Takes Spotlight in Star Tours Upgrade

Fan-favorite Star Wars character Jar Jar Binks has been elevated to an expanded role in the 4-year-old ride Star Tours ride, thanks to the Disney marketing machine. This move is no doubt intended to counteract the potential fall-out from another recent change to the ride: The addition of an entire sequence based on a scene from The Force Awakens, which […]