Disney’s Hollywood Studios is often targeted as the site of the “next big thing.” If you follow the rumor mills, you’ll know that there is a pretty big one buzzing out there.
Here’s what already exists at Hollywood Studios: 
Here’s what everyone’s dreaming about: 
And here’s what we should be very worried about getting: 
Photocredits:
wdwbarber
Disney
Anyone who reads this blog long enough to get past the repetitive John Muir jokes and the poorly concealed Tony Baxter man-crush knows we have a true love of Walt Disney World’s simpler time. Nothing symbolizes this more than the old House of Magic shop on Main Street (now part of Goofy’s Plush-o-rama and Magical T-Shirt Dream Factory).
Okay, it’s just totally implausible that a star could be in front of the moon.
This was the original magic store, long before Olivander’s took over the throne at Universal. It may not have had an intellectual property tie-in, and lacked the hour-long waits to browse, but it represented the nostalgic, innocent playfulness of Magic Kingdom’s early years. It was an entire retail space devoted to corny gags, slight-of-hand, and caged man-eating tigers, complete with flamboyant capes and 70s-punk purple wigs.
I’m not sure why it existed in the first place. Despite its name, did anyone really think the Magic Kingdom was the go-to destination for budding magicians of the time? Were magic shops common on the streets of midwestern America at the turn of the century? It’s hard to think of a legitimate reason to tie up an entire retail space with card tricks and ghostly tops. It seems they just did it for the heck of it. I mean, who wouldn’t want to buy a whole bunch of top hats and gloves while on vacation? It was such an oddball concept, they went ahead and did it twice (Merlin’s Magic Shop used to occupy Sir Mickey’s).
Sadly, some genius in Merchandising figured out that tarot cards and levitating coins didn’t have the same souvenir appeal as a room full of Mickey shirts, and the House of Magic disappeared from Main Street, replaced by the Athletic Club, which sells pajamas and purses.
Today I really just want to pay tribute to the tribute. If you go to Disney World today, you can still find the House of Magic if you look hard enough. I’m breaking rank with the magicians by giving away the secret, but I think you’ll find it obvious (like most magic tricks), once I point it out. It involves a little bit of misdirection. The right hand waves frantically at the Main Street Athletic club, while the left hand cleverly conceals the House of Magic over in Disney’s Hollywood Studios.
Looks more like a Business Establishment of Magic
It’s been there for awhile, though I can’t tell you exactly how long. It’s out in broad daylight, claims it’s open for customers, and is perfectly willing to sell you all the exploding cigar tricks you can handle. You just have to know where it is.
The font on the sign isn’t an exact match, but it’s pretty darn close. It’s clear this is meant to be a tribute to the original Main Street House of Magic. Everyone pretty much ignores it completely. I’m sure they think it’s just part of the background — which is sort of correct, since the whole point of New York Street is to be a background.
Nevermind the vaguely funeral-home-esque drapes.
You’ve tried to go in some of those buildings, haven’t you? That’s the gag, that the whole street is just a facade. But I have it on good authority that the House of Magic is different. There’s a way in, and you won’t believe what’s inside. Nothing less than the most incredible magical experience on property. You just need to know the magic words. I’d tell you, but I’m not ready to unmask myself that much.
As a long-time park fan, it’s always fun for me to watch when first-timers get hit over the head with a classic bit of Disney magic. Some people truly have no idea just how great the parks are, until they round the corner and see the Tree of Life for the first time in all its glory. It can make grown men break down and weep. And for that, I’m sorry, but I just really enjoy the heck out of that tree. I’m choking up right now just thinking about it.
Or how about those little details that people stumble onto? The rope gag with the well at the Indy Stunt Show, or the Wishing Well near the castle, or pretty much anything well-related. It can charm people’s socks off, accounting for that constant lurk of B.O. in the summertime.
But my all-time favorite bit of Disney theming has to be at Hollywood Studios, in between Toy Story Mania and the Backlot Tour. I will park myself on a bench here and watch for hours as people stroll through this area. These folks have just spent 100 minutes in line for a chance to play a spinning, 3-D version of a Wii game, and are a bit tired from the whole experience. But their spirits never fail to brighten when they reach the end of Pixar Place and come face to face with this:
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| Remember when Michael Eisner was obsessed with stunning, fanciful architecture? |
Here is Disney magic at its most amazing. An entire corner of a building made to look like an ordinary downtown bank, or maybe a dazzling industrial park. I imagine for these folks it must be like a nostalgic trip to their home town, where the buildings have no distinguishable signs, are painted in drab gray, and are slapped onto the side of a massive soundstage.
What inner child has not awakened to the sight of a glorious three-story office complex, glistening with plate glass and faux stone finishing? I know when I was a kid, I would spend the months before my trip plotting how I would visit all the themed insurance agents, mortgage brokers, and divorce attorneys who surely inhabited such a wonderland.
This building has a rich theme park history. Dedicated fans love to point out how Disney honors its legends of Disney Accounting and Finance after they retire, by promising to give them a “Window on That Bank Thing at Hollywood Studios.”
As you can see, it is just a facade, very similar to the surfaces of Fantasyland, World Showcase, or Harambe. But it has a touch of solemn austerity that helps it to rise above all these things and–
I’m making myself sick. What is this thing??? What is it doing at the end of Pixar Place?! Why am I suddenly punctuating like a 12-year-old girl?!?
I honestly have no clue where this thing came from. In case you don’t have the Studios map in your head, it’s nowhere near New York Street, where it might make a semblance of sense. It’s just a fake office building facade holding up a corner of the Great Movie Ride. If you look through the glass, you can see the soundstage walls a couple feet behind it, with all the metal struts holding up the set, and also large mounds of dead leaves and debris that have somehow wormed their way inside.
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| Disney Imagineers utilized an old movie trick, called “Hide the beige show building with a solid recreation of the County Tax Collector’s office.” |
I’m sure some Disney park historian out there knows what it’s doing here. Perhaps it’s a long-lost relic of Dick Tracy’s Crimestoppers or something. I find it baffling. Is it to help with the transition to the Backlot Tour, which has its own ugly facade a few dozen yards away? Maybe, but if so, it’s the worst transition one could possibly dream up for a behind-the-scenes look at the movies. And it’s not like it’s adding background to any pictures one might theoretically want to take of the Backlot Tour entrance. They’re really not that close to each other.
Feel free to weigh in and set me straight. Until then, I’m just going to enjoy the sight of all those toddlers gasping in amazement when they finally see daddy’s office building recreated at Disney World.
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| This thing is so beautiful and under-photographed that I thought it deserved a third angle. |
This series was almost over before it even got off the ground. Last week I made a commitment to visit a different Disney World park each week and seek out some random place which I had never before set foot in. I started in Magic Kingdom, took a tour of the Speedway Grandstand, threw up a little in my mouth, and checked one park off the list.
This week I went hunting in Hollywood Studios, and the whole plan nearly fell apart.
You may not be aware of this, but Hollywood Studios is a tiny park. It also happens to have the least immersive environment. There are very few secluded areas or hidden nooks. There are however, boatloads of giant soundstages which take up half the acreage. And these really can’t be used in my quest, because they are offlimits to guests.
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| Technically, if one possesses the right gear, the roof of Tower of Terror is “guest accessible.” But also grounds for removal from the park. |
Which means I circled the park twice looking for something — anything — to use. One of our readers last week (shout out, Jonmar03!) had a brilliant idea regarding the lockers as a possible location, and I even snapped some pictures of the Hollywood Studios lockers. But I ultimately ruled them out, because a) the locker room at the Studios is abysmally ugly, and b) I’m 95% sure I’ve been in there before. I could have lied and you would never know the difference, but I am nothing if not honest. And devastatingly good looking.
Which means I seriously contemplated going into the Baby Care center, sans infant, to snap a few pictures. I’m 100% sure I’ve never been in there. I’m also 100% sure there is nothing creepier than some random dude strolling into the Baby Care center and snapping pictures. Fortunately, I finally found some place to bail me out.
It’s another attraction waiting area, I guess, though it’s kind of a weird one. It’s a vine-tangled portico outside of Tower of Terror, consisting of nothing more than benches and a series of trestles. Very haunting in its way. A soft, rose-covered hallway opposite the exit to the Tower gift shop.
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| You are about to discover what lies beyond the Gift Shop. Beyond the deepest, darkest corner of the espresso stand. In the Hallway of Terror. |
I actually found it pretty odd, since all it does is wrap behind the espresso stand. There doesn’t seem to be much logical reason for it to be there, other than as a waiting zone for people not riding. The opening starts at one end of the espresso stand, goes behind it, and exits on the other side. It had never even occurred to me that someone would go back there. It doesn’t even lead to a backstage access point, so there’s no operational reason for it. But nevertheless, there were a few waiters lounging on the benches. I even used the drinking fountain that’s back there.
I don’t think it’s much good as a waiting area, since anyone sitting back there is literally hidden from the attraction exit. Hard to rejoin your party when you can’t see them. And I’m now curious to return at night, especially during off season, as I imagine it can be quite secluded and spooky.
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| The flowering vines filter the afternoon sun in mysterious ways. And there is absolutely no purpose to this thing. |
So there you have it! Just like that, we’re halfway home. Only Epcot and Animal Kingdom left. Will we succeed?
It is hard to be a bigger Indiana Jones geek than me. I’m not sure it’s possible. Raiders of the Lost Ark is my all time favorite movie. Unless I’m in an Empire Strikes Back mood. But no really, it’s Raiders. Today, at least.
As a true Indiana Jones fan, I possess secret knowledge that is apparently unavailable to the people in charge of things such as Imagineering great Disney attractions. For instance, I know for a fact that Temple of Doom is the second best Indy movie (you probably think it’s Last Crusade, but you’re wrong. I won’t hold it against you). I know that Karen Allen holds the distinction of being both the best (Raiders) and the worst (Crystal Skull) leading lady. I know that Belloq really did swallow a fly (google it). I don’t know why he swallowed a fly.
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| I guess he’ll die. |
Indiana Jones is the greatest action hero of all time and it’s not even close. A lot of this is due to Harrison Ford, but you have to give solid credit to the costume. That costume is an icon. Go to any decent Halloween party, and I guarantee you will see at least two or three dudes wearing it. I think at the Magic Kingdom Not-So-Scary party, it’s probably the third most popular, behind (regrettably) Jack Sparrow and Other Random Pirate.
So it ticks me off to no end that the so-called geniuses who dreamt up the Great Movie Ride can manage to botch things for us true Indy fans. Take a look at this scene from the ride:
Now here’s the scene from the movie. Camera angle is reversed from the ride’s point-of-view, but the positions of Indy and Sallah are the same.
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Spot the problem? It’s the whip! Indy’s trusty, iconic, never-leave-home-without-it whip! The ride gets scene-specific details right (such as Indy’s gloves, which only appear in a couple scenes), but his whip and ever-present shoulder satchel are on the wrong hip.
In the movies, Indy wears the whip and the satchel on his left hip, so the strap is on his right shoulder. His gun holster is always on the right hip. Indy is right handed, so he quick-draws from the right hip (to shoot random Arabs). He cross-draws his whip from his left hip, which makes sense, as it allows the whip to unfurl as he swings his arm back.
For some crazy reason, the Great Movie Ride gets the costume wrong. And in case you’re wondering whether Indy switches it up in the movie, he doesn’t.
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| “You said their headpiece only had markings on one side?” — Indiana Jones |
Nor does he in Temple of Doom…
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| “Take the left tunnel, Indy!” — Short Round |
Or in Last Crusade…
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| “You left just when you were becoming interesting.” — Henry Jones, Sr. |
Or in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull…
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| “Your gun is digging into my hip.” –Ace Ventura (way more quotable than anything in Crystal Skull) |
For that matter, his costume is correct in Temple of the Forbidden Eye out at Disneyland.
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| Photo by Loren Javier from Flickr |
And it’s even right in the sign on the Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular, just scant yards from the Great Movie Ride! Though to be fair, the stunt performers might individually switch from left to right, depending on which is their dominant hand.
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| This sign is right-handed. |
Is there any logical reason why GMR botched the costume? Maybe in the age of political correctness they were worried about showing the gun on Indy’s hip, but that seems ludicrous in a ride which includes a full-on gangland shootout and even your temporary tour guide is packing heat.
Or maybe they felt like the whip needed to be seen in order for people to be happy with Indiana Jones? But it’s barely seen anyway, since his jacket is covering part of it. It has to be an accident, right? But nevertheless, the fanboy in me is unreasonably offended.
It wouldn’t be the first time parkeology has caught Disney red-handed with hand problems. But this seems like an easy thing to correct. Hopefully somebody who works GMR will see this and pass the word on to the costuming people.