Tip #1 – Don’t Drive Track D
Here is our scientific breakdown of each YouTube video, showing time trials by track, with their average times at the bottom.
Track A is the fastest. Track D is by far the slowest. There’s a perfectly logical explanation for this: Math.
See that big left hand turn to start the race? That’s the critical one. And there are 3 other smaller left turns throughout the race for a total of 4. By contrast, there are only 3 right hand turns, none of which are the size of that first curve.
This means that the inside track has a shorter distance to travel relative to the outside track. Track A is the most inside lane, therefore it’s the shortest track. Track D is on the outside, making it the longest.
Tip #2 – Maybe Don’t Film Yourself While Driving
Again, the vast majority of YouTube videos are of Track D. We only found 1 video of Track A.
Could this mean that people playing with their phones are slower and more dangerous behind the wheel? All signs point to YES.
Or it could also mean that when the Speedway reduces its capacity early or late in the day, they tend to shut down Tracks A and B, leaving fewer opportunities to drive those tracks.
Tip #3 – Don’t Attempt the Tomorrowland Speedway Time Trials During a Holiday Overlay
Those outliers listed in the table above are from videos of people driving through the Christmas lights that were installed as part of Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party in 2019. If you are serious about setting the record, we do not recommend doing it when there’s a bunch of looky-loos on the highway.
Although if you can catch a glimpse of the old Skyway grassy knoll, that might be worth it.
Tip #4 – The Heavier the Better
It may just be due to the small sample size, but we often noticed that having two passengers in the car made things go faster. In fact, a heavyset guy and his girlfriend recorded the fastest time on Track C.
We are at a loss to explain why this would make a difference. Maybe the extra weight is enough to add stability to the car, keeping it from pinioning off the center guide rail as much (every time you strike the guard rail, it’s like hitting a brake). There’s also a section of the track that goes downhill, and maybe the extra weight is speeding up that section (but then what about when you go uphill?)
Or it could just be related to Tip #2. Two people in the car means that the driver is not having to do the filming.
Tip #5 – Team USA Steering Beats European Steering
For some reason, the cars on tracks A and C use the steering wheel placement commonly found in the United States, with the wheel on the left.
Tracks B and D use the European style, with the steering wheel on the right.
Our working theory is that most riders are Americans, so they are more comfortable on Track A and C. This causes them to navigate the guardrail more efficiently.
We have no explanation for why the U.S.-style cars drive on the left side of the road, while the European style drives on the right. But hey, if it’s good enough for parking lot trams…
When I Set the Tomorrowland Speedway Time Trials Record, How Do I Let the World Know?
Just post in the comments below! But you will need to have proof in the form of an impeccable YouTube video, which will then be reviewed by a panel of 10 dispassionate judges.
We will approve your comment and it will appear on this page for the whole world to see.
We will then invite you to a trophy ceremony to be held at a fancy hotel, after which you will attend a state dinner with many celebrities and foreign dignitaries in attendance.
Okay, who are we kidding? We don’t have the budget for any of that. You aren’t going to set the record anyway. Learn to deal with failure!