It happened during the week between Christmas and New Year’s. A week when the parks are so crowded, you have to wait in line just to scoff at the latest DVC sales booth. I’m pretty sure this was an “Apocalyptic Crowds Season” deal, and that this will not become a regular occurrence in Adventureland. But for a brief […]
What if Disneyland Arrived 60 Years Too Late?
Try to imagine, just for a moment, a giant space monster punching Father Time right in the teeth. A punch hard enough to jar loose sixty years. A half-dozen meaningless decades. A skip on the record player of history. Now imagine that this cataclysmic punch occurred in 1901. History shrugs it off. Life finds a […]
Alternate Fantasy – Bizarro Adventureland
The strangest thing about Disneyland’s Adventureland is that the Treehouse is in the middle of the motherlovin’ sidewalk. It’s no secret that I have an unhealthy fascination with Magic Kingdom’s Swiss Family Treehouse. I love the way it’s perched out there on its own plant-infested island, sweltering in the hot florida sun. I love that […]
With Teevtee off galavanting through famed naturalist John Muir’s back yard, I figured I should probably get off my lazy butt and post something good here. But instead I went to Magic Kingdom. It was a nice stroll through the park near sunset, which is probably my favorite time of day to visit (my second […]
Stocks and Bongos
The most evil buzzword in the theme park industry today is “interactive” (followed closely by “guest experience,” and rounded out by “Potter-killer.”) I’m a traditionalist, darn it, and I prefer my theme parks shaken, not stirred. If I have to hear about another “living character initiative” or “NextGen project,” I think I’m going to have […]
The Spanish Word for Pirate
Today we have a story in which a young child learns about other cultures. He also learns about friendship, togetherness, and world peace, but not until EPCOT Center opens. No, this story takes place way in the past, and the young child is me. Let me ask you a question that I think I know […]
One of the great things about Disney parks and Walt Disney World in particular is that stuff is always changing. Even Madonna would have a hard time reinventing herself at this pace. It’s well documented that Walt wanted it this way. He’s famous for saying that he wanted something he could endlessly tinker with, like […]
Sinister Shipments From Adventureland
Or, The Bizarre Bazaar: How I Spent My Vacation Researching Morbid Death Camps. It’s always such a chore picking post headlines here in the Parkeology offices. I always like the funny, alliterative ones, but they usually aren’t very descriptive. Wouldn’t it be great if Adventureland’s Agrabah Bazaar sold brassieres? That would be a headline I […]
Did This Swiss Family Treehouse Cannon Protect Against Swan Boat Attacks?
If Hans Gruber wanted to attack Adventureland, he’d stand a pretty good chance at turning that Tiki Room pagoda into the next Nakatomi Tower, but everything is else is too much work. The Magic Carpets are guarded by spitting camels, the Jungle Cruise is too spread out, and the Pirates of the Caribbean has all […]