If you grew up the 80s and didn’t own or want to own an NES, then either you spent your early years living in a bomb shelter with your paranoid parents, or you were a girl. And that’s not even true, because girls at least love Tetris, and the NES is so awesome you […]
Author: Shane
Parkeology in the Virtual World
This is how parkeologists view the world: An apocalyptic Disney landscape, in which the wind whistles eerily through once-grand halls, and evil creatures lurk in the darkness (no, I’m not speaking of Sounds Dangerous). For months now, the Disney fan community has been waiting with baited breath for the arrival of Epic Mickey. For those […]
The Backside of a Moose
There are some things that are sacred to a man, and severed animal heads are some of them. Just the heads, mind you. Nobody wants the stuffed backside of a moose sitting in their office. But severed heads, you can stick those anywhere and it will still look classy. This is something females don’t seem […]
Making My Own Philharmagic
This is a bit of a departure today from our usual hard-hitting news and breathtaking secrets, but today I would like to spend a few moments talking about a serious disorder that affects 9 out of every 10 parkeologists. It’s called GAS, which doctors inform me stands for Giveit Away Syndrome. In one sense, it’s […]
The Misquotable Pinocchio
You know how some of those old Disney songs have all these weird words to remember? If you can recite entire verses of Higitus Figitus without a cheat sheet and a degree in linguistics, you are either some kind of savant or your name is Richard M. Sherman. If you can’t, don’t feel bad. Even […]
Ask Captain Nemo
If you need some information about Walt Disney World, all you have to do is pick up the phone and call Guest Relations. If you want your information to actually be accurate, go to Deb Wills. And for some of you, all the information you ever need is stored in your head, including the latest […]
Country Dinosaur Jubilee
The story goes that when Disneyland was first being built, they had no funds, no good ideas, and no edible landscape with which to manufacture a good Tomorrowland. Today, they might just fill it with character greeting areas and call it a Fantasyland Expansion, but back then they just went with whatever they had: Bathrooms […]
Lion King House of Horrors
Who doesn’t love the Lion King? It is non-stop cuddly creatures from the opening number until the very end of the movie. Snuggly lions, huggable warthogs, squeezy giraffes. Just sitting in the movie theater makes you want to save all the animals in the world, to spread a message of peace, love, and harmony. We […]
Is the Walt Disney World Radio Station Still Broadcasting?
It’s been quite a few years since my first trip to Disney World. Even my hundredth trip is far back in the rearview mirror. But every kid who ever made frequent pilgrimages to this little patch of Central Florida has that favorite “tell,” a fun little indicator that you were close. Really close. So close […]
