It has come to my attention that Disney may have been lying to me. It seems that many of the things at the parks have no basis in reality. I mean, besides the wait times listed on that oh-so-helpful tip board (is a little accuracy too much to ask?). Apparently those rifles in Fort Langhorn […]
Disney Theme Park Hidden Secrets
The Beast That Haunts My Nightmares
It is time for me to finally speak of that which terrifies me in the dark. It is a monster, a foul creature from beyond. I know not from whence it came. I wish it would return to its hellhole and leave me in peace. But my hopes are false. There will be no escape […]
Big Fred’s Belly
The Country Bears have been around for nigh on 40 years now, and I’ve seen the show a hunnerd times, but I find there are still a few details lurking out there waiting for me to spot them. Such was the case last weekend with Big Fred. You know this feller, right? He’s one of […]
Adventureland Oddities
With Teevtee off galavanting through famed naturalist John Muir’s back yard, I figured I should probably get off my lazy butt and post something good here. But instead I went to Magic Kingdom. It was a nice stroll through the park near sunset, which is probably my favorite time of day to visit (my second […]
Spaceship Earth Is A Slow-Moving Journey Through Time
It’s pretty tough to paint yourself into a corner when your show building is a giant round ball. Yet somehow the Imagineers managed to do it. I’m sure Imagineering is more concerned with the big problems. How to simulate Zero G. How to make Abe Lincoln deliver a speech. How to apologize for Monsters Inc. […]
The Dog Days of Summer
Parkeology is your definitive source for ridiculous lists! Only here will you find a comprehensive compendium of sea serpentia, Bing Crosby ephemera, and domestic attraction exports. The ironic part is that whenever I try a new list, I invariably leave something off, which causes much embarrassment here at the parkeology offices, and has led to […]
Figment Resurrected
I ranted recently about the new Journey Into Imagination (recently? It seems I rant incessantly). Disney seems to believe that the proper way to assuage upset fans is to take a favorite character, crank up his most annoying personality traits to the nth degree, and bombard visitors with him at every turn. This one goes […]
Day for Night
Of all the Disney mountains, Splash Mountain has to be the most story-centric. It’s populated with a cast of hundreds, it has dozens of show scenes, it builds to a thrilling climax. By contrast, the Matterhorn has a single hairy guy and a lot of ice caverns. Splash is more than just a thrill gimmick. […]
Scariest Park Creature Ever
Disney parks are mostly full of pleasant images. Cotton candy, singing bears, that hot belly dancer in Morocco. But every now and then, they sneak in something unsettling. Today, I’d like to introduce you to a creature that haunts my nightmares. You might wonder where you can find such a beast. Is it the Haunted […]