When I think back on all the storybooks I read as a kid, it’s clear that they all had one theme in common. Circus. Even the crappy ones my mom bought at the school book fair came in a three-ring binder. I finally had a chance to check out Phase 1 of the Fantasyland Expansion […]
Magic Kingdom
Here There Be Monsters: Visiting the Last Unexplored Corner of the Magic Kingdom
There’s a beautiful scene when you first enter the building at Disneyland’s Pirates of the Caribbean. An old pirate map, watched over by a talking parrot. A map of buried treasure, lost caves, and forgotten islands. And right at the edge of the map, the unexplored territory. “Here There Be Monsters.” When it comes to […]
T-Shirt Correction League Redux
A couple months back, I posted an innocuous little blurb about a new t-shirt being sold at Magic Kingdom (specifically in the Sir Mickey’s shop in Fantasyland). As is the duty of every person who writes something on the internet, this post was intended to mock a large corporation for its fact checking, and to […]
The Carousel House Murders and the Haunted Carousel of Progress
We depart from our normal fun-loving hilarity to request urgent help in a developing situation. We ask our readers, both home and abroad, to please contact us if they have any information regarding the whereabouts of Dr. Harold Farthing. Most of you know Dr. Farthing as one of the preeminent Parkeologists in the field today. […]
The Two Faces of Teddi Berra
You say “Two Faces of Teddi Berra” in public, and the connotation is you’ve got a bear with some serious mental problems. Like maybe one day she’s the quiet neighbor upstairs. The next day she’s on trial for beheading a deer, a moose, and a buffalo. Like a twist ending to the Goldilocks story, where […]
4 Haunting Disney World Smells
My first trip to Walt Disney World was in the early 70s. My family would go every year. We lived in Indiana, so needless to say, we drove (the first airplane was not sighted in Indiana until Reagan’s second term). My childhood was spent marking time between Disney World visits like a prisoner making notches […]
The Key to Jack Sparrow
Among theme park attractions, there are a few special experiences that elevate themselves above the rest into the realm of artistic masterpiece. Pirates, Mansion, Small World, Gadget’s Go-Coaster… These modern classics are considered to be the very highest class of attraction. And if art has taught us anything, it’s that a classic work can always […]
Buzz Lightyear in Mathmagicland
Mr. Buzz Aldrinicus Lightyear is an elite Space Ranger, with pop-out wings, wrist laser cannon, and a swooshing helmet. He has bilingual modes, multiple sound effects button, and a box that transforms into his ship. But when it comes to numbers, the poor guy is more lost than a Brazillian tour group at the FastPass […]
A Crack in the Liberty Belle
It has come to my attention that Disney may have been lying to me. It seems that many of the things at the parks have no basis in reality. I mean, besides the wait times listed on that oh-so-helpful tip board (is a little accuracy too much to ask?). Apparently those rifles in Fort Langhorn […]
