5 Greatest Disney Rides by Decade: The 1980s

In a survey by top historians, the 1980s was named the world’s greatest decade of all time. Check any critical economic statistic you want. Action figures per capita? The Spielberg approval percentage? Chicago Bear shuffling rate? It’s all off the charts. Everything from Saturday morning cartoon viewership to Ewok market penetration ran through the 1980s […]

Five Windows Into Rides

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. I’m sure this must be true. I like to imagine my soul looking out on the world through the twin portholes above my nose in the corner penthouse of my head. I draw the drapes when it’s bedtime. Install hurricane shutters whenever I’m working with power tools. […]

Confessions of a Splash Mountain Rap Star

The Splash Mountain rap will be the most awkward part of your week. Your month. Possibly even your life. But you will watch. You have no choice. When history presents you with a D-list TV star busting rhymes in front of a theme park ride featuring woodland animals, you must rise to the occasion. Hear […]

Day for Night

Of all the Disney mountains, Splash Mountain has to be the most story-centric.  It’s populated with a cast of hundreds, it has dozens of show scenes, it builds to a thrilling climax.  By contrast, the Matterhorn has a single hairy guy and a lot of ice caverns. Splash is more than just a thrill gimmick. […]

Ever Evolving

One of the great things about Disney parks and Walt Disney World in particular is that stuff is always changing.  Even Madonna would have a hard time reinventing herself at this pace. It’s well documented that Walt wanted it this way.  He’s famous for saying that he wanted something he could endlessly tinker with, like […]

Mickey no Tokyo Disneyland Daibouken

Our spellchecker is not broken.  The headline is Japanese, and it translates roughly to “Mickey’s Adventure in Tokyo Disneyland.”  (I’ll let you clever folks figure out which Japanese word means “Adventure”). Up until about a month ago, I never knew Mickey had adventures in Tokyo Disneyland.  I just sort of assumed he sat in the […]

Born and Bred in a Fire Trap

Rabbits may be clever about a great many things, but the idea of open-flame cooking in a giant patch of brittle thorn brambles is probably not up there among the brightest ideas in the universe.  Witness Brer Rabbit’s house, the Briar Patch, where a giant fireplace makes a nice centerpiece to their little collection of kindle. […]