Goofy and the Pirate King

Happy 2013! My New Year’s Resolution is to finally write some serious, relevant, thought-provoking posts, and stop monkeying around with silly stuff. Having said that, when looking at my Alien Encounter toys yesterday, I found another item from Disney’s defunct line of die-cast attraction vehicles. I was so fascinated by it, I had to write […]

The Key to Jack Sparrow

Among theme park attractions, there are a few special experiences that elevate themselves above the rest into the realm of artistic masterpiece. Pirates, Mansion, Small World, Gadget’s Go-Coaster… These modern classics are considered to be the very highest class of attraction. And if art has taught us anything, it’s that a classic work can always […]

Imagine the Possibilities

Everyone has a favorite scene in Pirates of the Caribbean. For 95% of the theme park public, this scene is either Johnny Depp hiding in a barrel or Johnny Depp fondling a dressmaker mannequin. The remaining 5% have a modicum of good taste. We know the classic iconography. The dog with the keys, the wench […]

Walt Disney World Quest Magical Racing Tour (2000)

It’s been a long time since we had an entry in our series of park-based video games. And as you no doubt have noticed, the world financial markets are reacting to this oversight. Unemployment figures have risen sharply, and America’s students are now verifiably stupider than they were before. So, here to set everything right, […]

Adventureland Oddities

With Teevtee off galavanting through famed naturalist John Muir’s back yard, I figured I should probably get off my lazy butt and post something good here. But instead I went to Magic Kingdom. It was a nice stroll through the park near sunset, which is probably my favorite time of day to visit (my second […]

10 Coolest Things Animatronics Have Ever Done

Audio Animatronics have evolved a lot since their debut as multicultural stereotypes.  Jose, Michael, Pierre, and Fritz were pretty darn cool.  They could move.  They could talk.  They could do both at the same time (something Al Gore never learned).  But even Isaac Asimov couldn’t imagine what they’d do next. Answer:  Activate Skynet. We’re a […]