According to a Gallup poll released recently, Avatarland has an approval rating that’s actually worse than the French head of the IMF. Blue Man Group has seen its ticket sales plummet since the announcement. It’s gotten so bad that the church of Scientology released a statement calling it a “patently crazy idea.” I cannot disagree […]
Disney’s Animal Kingdom
Hidden Jafar Lives!
Just checking in from my non-stop tracking of all the incredible news breaking loose at the D23 Expo. Apparently we are getting an entirely new section of Fantasyland! And there will be a Seven Dwarfs Mine Car Coaster! And maybe some meet-n-greets or something! Okay, I actually feel a little sad, because there are still […]
Pixar Eyes May Be Detailed, But Disney’s Animatronic Eyes Are Insane
Apparently, Pixar’s success has nothing to do with their awesome stories. Google (no pun intended) the phrase “Pixar eyes” and you will find scores of tutorials, white papers, literary criticisms, journal articles, and Masters theses — all dealing with the awesomeness of Pixar eyes. You’d think that the entire art form begins and ends with […]
Hidden Jafar Revisited
So last week I posted a picture of the Hidden Jafar at Animal Kingdom, and some of you — including my fellow resident parkeologist Teevtee — doubted its veracity. To be honest, I don’t blame you. I have been known to come up with some half baked notions and crazy conspiracy theories from time to […]
Villains in the Mist
There are good animals and there are bad animals. Gorillas I think must be bad animals. For one thing, they stink. Ever wonder what that smell is at the exit to Kiliminjaro Safari? Putrid, vomitable gorilla. They are also only marginally cute even as babies, which is tough to do in the animal world. […]
Country Dinosaur Jubilee
The story goes that when Disneyland was first being built, they had no funds, no good ideas, and no edible landscape with which to manufacture a good Tomorrowland. Today, they might just fill it with character greeting areas and call it a Fantasyland Expansion, but back then they just went with whatever they had: Bathrooms […]
Thrilla in Parkzilla: ROUND TWO!
If you missed round one catch up HERE. Ladies and gentleman, I give you the most massive mega fight of all time, the ultimate showdown of the Disney gladiators, a fight that has been decades in the making, this is round two of the…. The crowd is still riled up after the first round of […]
The Four Dragon Kings of the Theme Parks
When it comes to mythical beasts, dragons are royalty. Unicorns are upper class, a little bit snooty, sort of pampered. Griffins are middle class, your sort of everyday run-of-the-mill hybrid creatures, and jackalopes are like the serfs tending to the fields and making jokes about the unicorns behind their backs. The other mythical beasts fall […]
Disney World’s Ugliest Show Building
You may have noticed that parkeology.com is looking a little different lately. Please do not be alarmed. We are merely refurbishing this area for your future enjoyment. Plus, we have a bet with Madonna to see who can reinvent themselves the most. So far the score is Parkeology: 2, Madonna 141. But if we find […]
