Sea Serpent Redux

To the Staff of,

It has come to my attention that you recently ran one of your little articles about Walt Disney World family of sea serpents.  I guess it was cute.  I didn’t really read the whole thing.  I must, however, take exception with your research practices.  Maybe you just had an off day or something.

You gave a lot of attention to some sea serpents who are no longer with us, including that idiot from World of Motion, who can’t act his way out of a coral reef.  And our cross-eyed cousin from the 20K Lagoon, he’s a real winner.  You even called out the DisneyQuest sea serpent, who is just a video, for crying out loud.  If you want to be congratulated for remembering these guys, fine.  I just thought you would like to know that you left out the biggest sea serpent ever to appear on property.

I’m still around, by the way.  People are constantly dropping by to see what I’m about, and I certainly don’t need publicity from your pathetic little blog.  I’m doing just fine.  I only thought I would give you a little push in the right direction, remind you that you have some readers (one or two of them) who deserve to be given a truthful account of the sea serpent situation.  I hope you can improve your research in the future, maybe by firing the guy who makes Stevie Wonder look like a professional birdwatcher.

Respectfully yours,

Scales the Sea Serpent
Port Orleans Resort

— Ed. note.  We regret the omission

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