Theme Park Life

Goofy and the Pirate King

Happy 2013! My New Year’s Resolution is to finally write some serious, relevant, thought-provoking posts, and stop monkeying around with silly stuff. Having said that, when looking at my Alien Encounter toys yesterday, I found another item from Disney’s defunct line of die-cast attraction vehicles. I was so fascinated by it, I had to write […]

Living The Dream Part Three: GET OUT!

Read part one here and part two here. It’s 6:30 am on the last day of the cruise and Leslie, our aggressively enthusiastic cruise director, is on the ship-wide public address system telling everyone to get the hell off. Her once charming and intriguing English accent is now grating and incredibly annoying. Half asIeep I […]

Living The Dream Part 2: Curse of the Black Pearl

Read part one here Sitting at the Meridian bar aboard the Disney Dream my father and I are contemplating ordering an extremely expensive glass of Louis XIII “Black Pearl” cognac. This is interesting for a number of reasons. First of it costs $1,200 a shot, and that’s considered a bargain. Yes, TWELVE HUNDRED American dollars […]

Living the Dream

Everything was going great on our Cruise aboard the Disney Dream until my 7 year old daughter asked about Donald Duck’s penis… but more on that later. We have very defined roles around the Parkeology offices. For example Shane writes frequent updates, he maintains the day in and day out technical aspects of the site, […]

Spaceship Earth and the Invention of Time Travel

It seems every other week I’m apologizing for not posting anything. Usually it’s a time-wasting excuse, such as “I was trying to beat World 8-1 in Super Mario Bros.” or “I was watching Colts pre-season football” or “I was trying to explain to someone younger than 30 what Super Mario Bros. is.” But this time, […]

Disney Chicken Nuggets of Theme Park Wisdom

I have recently discovered something truly incredible in the food world. It is called Dino Nuggets. I’m sure you have heard of these. Especially if you have kids. They are chicken nuggets, shaped like dinosaurs. That’s their entire marketing hook. I’m sure they have been around for years, but I don’t have kids, so I […]

Everbody Find a Moving Buddy

You may have noticed that it’s been quiet around here lately. That’s because the Parkeology staff has been packing up crates of old park maps, cataloging our collection of vintage Orange Bird merchandising, and wrapping our miniature ceramic Swan Boats in newspaper for a big move. That’s right, after listening to us grumble over our […]

Here There Be Monsters: Visiting the Last Unexplored Corner of Animal Kingdom

[Cue the dramatic music] In a world of theme parks, one man must complete a journey. He must leave no stone unturned, no alley unexplored, no fly unzipped. In this breathtaking conclusion to the epic series to seek out new lands and new civilizations, Parkeology travels deep into the jungles of Disney’s Animal Kingdom, in […]

Unexplored Epcot: Encountering the Hat Lady

Not long ago, a Parkeologist who had seemingly explored every inch of Walt Disney World set out to discover and visit places inside the theme parks where he had never set foot before. Unexplored regions, often labeled “Here there be monsters” by former adventurers. There were only two rules: It had to be a real […]