Return to Opening Day: Magic Kingdom 1971

Put on those bellbottoms, grab yourself a bandana, and brush out that Afro. We’re traveling to the groovy 70s, baby, for a date with destiny! Here age relives fond memories of the past and all that. Opening Day crowds were estimated to go as high as 100,000 people — all of them crammed onto I-4 […]

What Can You Still See With Your EPCOT Center Opening Day Ticket?

Here we are, 32 years removed from the start of the 21st century. And that’s not just a failing of the public school system. That’s EPCOT Center. It’s recorded in the history books. The 21st century began on October 1, 1982. What kind of sell must this have been to an entertainment company? A theme […]

The World’s First Traffic Jam

In the classic EPCOT Center attraction, the World of Motion, they based an entire show scene around the idea of the World’s First Traffic Jam, complete with animatronic chickens. But Disney World’s First (and Worst) Traffic Jam happens every night at the Magic Kingdom. I don’t spend a lot of time musing about the future […]

The Thing Behind Door 24

It cannot be real. I won’t let it. Yet somehow the desperate, still-sane part of my mind will not let me forget the truly unsettling site I witnessed at the Magic Kingdom on the evening of March 24. As I write this, I am still quite shaken. I don’t know what will come of this nightmare. […]

Disney MGM Studios Opening Day Attractions You Can Still Visit Today

Last week we embarked on a different trip through the parks: The Opening Day Tour. We started with the opening of Disney’s Animal Kingdom, but today, our time machine is rotating backwards to a magical land of mullets and bangs. Get ready to visit all that remains of the Disney MGM Studios Opening Day Attractions. The […]

Dinosaur 38 and the New Millennium

Here we are 14 years into the new millennium. It’s hard to believe. Some parkeologists weren’t even around when the planet’s odometer rolled over. If you had asked Millennium Me what he remembered about 14 years ago, he would have reminisced about the opening of Captain EO at Epcot, or that exciting announcement about the […]

The Funmeister Secretly Spies on You From Above

If you believe in conspiracy theories, then you can twist anything to fit your theory. Not only can you twist it, you must twist it. Cubans assassinated JFK. The Moon Shot was faked. NBA games are rigged. And global warming is to blame for all of them. Here at the Parkeology offices, we have a […]

The Village Beneath the Island

“In a single day and night of misfortune, Atlantis disappeared into the depths of the sea.” Thus said Plato, early Greek philosopher and inventor of sculptable mud for children. It might just as well refer to Discovery Island, Disney’s long-abandoned zoological park in the middle of Bay Lake. Nothing of worth remains, except for an […]