Disney Theme Park Hidden Secrets

Five Windows Into Rides

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. I’m sure this must be true. I like to imagine my soul looking out on the world through the twin portholes above my nose in the corner penthouse of my head. I draw the drapes when it’s bedtime. Install hurricane shutters whenever I’m working with power tools. […]

This Sad and Lonely Crocodile Will Eat You

I think I read somewhere that journeys into the jungle are supposed to be dark and intense. Nobody ever says “I’ve returned fresh from the jungle.” They always come back half-starved, half-mad, half-naked, and half-bumpy from parasitic insects. But I’m starting to get suspicious about the Jungle Cruise. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems […]

A Very Muppet Magic Trick

You know how magic tricks are great, until you know how they’re done, and then you can’t not see your Uncle Dave palm the quarter before he reaches behind your ear? Ever since I figured that one out a couple months ago, I just don’t have the same interest in going to magic shows every […]

The Thing Behind Door 24

It cannot be real. I won’t let it. Yet somehow the desperate, still-sane part of my mind will not let me forget the truly unsettling site I witnessed at the Magic Kingdom on the evening of March 24. As I write this, I am still quite shaken. I don’t know what will come of this nightmare. […]