In Case of Fire, Please Use Stairs

I am on a mission to recover lost elevators, since Disney parks have a propensity for losing them.  Or for not adding them in the first place.  Remember when they re-opened the Sleeping Beauty Diorama at Disneyland?  And then instead of making it handicap-accessible, they simply added a TV waiting room, like at the dentist.  […]

Lost Epcot Restaurant Discovered Inside Chefs de France

One of the great things – possibly the best thing – about living in Walt Disney World is that you can look sneeringly at random vacation photos and haughtily announce that you know exactly where that picture was taken. For instance, a close-up of a duck’s head with a smidgen of white rock visible in […]

Muppet Labs Creates Beaker’s Best Line

  Last Saturday marked the reopening of MuppetVision 3-D, a Studio staple since the early 90s.  The rehab included a new digital projection system, resulting in crystal clear images the likes of which haven’t been seen since Jim Henson’s mind-expansion experiments in the 70s.  The show also got new carpet and seat coverings, shunting some […]

Tomorrowland Grassy Knoll

Grassy Knoll, as shot by Abraham Zapruder. If you’re a serious park fan, then you’ve seen the film by now.  A gritty Super-8 movie, the colors bleeding at the edges, the background overexposed by the harsh Florida sun.  The frame jitters from the amateur camerawork.  The scenery streaks with every fast pan. History in the […]

Who you calling dummy… DUMMY!

Test Track is full of dummies.  They get smashed and pounded in the queue, during the preshow and on the ride itself.  These dummies were made to be abused; fiberglass and steel can take a great deal of punishment.  Ummmm, wrong dummies.   Carmakers use these crash test dummies to beat up, they are stand-ins, […]

Born and Bred in a Fire Trap

Rabbits may be clever about a great many things, but the idea of open-flame cooking in a giant patch of brittle thorn brambles is probably not up there among the brightest ideas in the universe.  Witness Brer Rabbit’s house, the Briar Patch, where a giant fireplace makes a nice centerpiece to their little collection of kindle. […]

Yo Ho Yo Ho Chim Chim Cheree

There’s a stupid game that my brother and I sometimes play.  It’s called the Sherman Brothers Game.  In this game, the idea is to come up with a new title for a Sherman Brothers song by throwing nonsensical syllables into the song title.  As long as it rhymes, it’s a winner.  It’s really more of […]

Indian Curses are the Least of Your Worries

Forget about flooded ghost towns, howling bobcats, avalanches, steaming geysers, runaway trains, cave-ins, or shrieking flocks of bats.  If it’s grave danger you seek, you can start by looking in the loading area. Legend tells of a Big Thunder Mining Company, which struck gold in this little corner of Frontierland. They expanded operations, riddled the […]