Disney Theme Park Hidden Secrets

The Luscious Lavish Lawn Mower Tree

Long ago, when I was just a boy, my family brought us to Fort Wilderness. Not to camp, of course. We weren’t paying $20 for a camp site. Not when we had a van, and there were plenty of empty parking lots. I have fragmented memories of this visit. I’m pretty sure it involved a […]

Alternate Fantasy – Bizarro Squares

We now come to the part of our tour where each coast diverges into its own unique little niche. Florida, by virtue of its large collection of Confederate flags, inability to efficiently count election results, and its heritage as the birthplace of “Making Fun of Natives By Uppity European Explorers Searching for Magic Life Potion,” […]

Circus Bear Mix-Up

I have no wish to rant about Storybook Circus, but there’s Another Part of Me that wants to. Circuses may have been magical in the first half of the 20th century, but today they conjure up negative associations with animal cruelty, carnival freaks, and child endangerment. Which come to think of it are pretty much […]

Spaceship Earth Literacy Rates Plummet!

There’s an old Seinfeld episode, the meta one, where Jerry and George are discussing the concept for their TV show, which they’re about to pitch to NBC. The famous “show about nothing.” During the scene, they cast about for things which their characters could do on the show. George suggests that they could do normal […]