We now come to the part of our tour where each coast diverges into its own unique little niche. Florida, by virtue of its large collection of Confederate flags, inability to efficiently count election results, and its heritage as the birthplace of “Making Fun of Natives By Uppity European Explorers Searching for Magic Life Potion,” […]
Disney Theme Park Hidden Secrets
Alternate Fantasy – Bizarro Main Street
Back in the 80s, a popular male fantasy was the idea of dating identical twins. And also to chew gum with them. I am sure the cultured, societal men of today don’t indulge in such outdated notions, but it used to be a big deal. Two girls who are exactly alike in almost every way. […]
Walt Disney World Transportation Collector Card Sparks High Stakes Treasure Hunt
Sometimes the most trivial items can take hold of a man’s fascination and drive him deeper and deeper into new levels of obsession. Case in point: I have recently obtained an Official Walt Disney World Transportation Collector Card during a trip to the Magic Kingdom. I have visited the Magic Kingdom in all the decades […]
Circus Bear Mix-Up
I have no wish to rant about Storybook Circus, but there’s Another Part of Me that wants to. Circuses may have been magical in the first half of the 20th century, but today they conjure up negative associations with animal cruelty, carnival freaks, and child endangerment. Which come to think of it are pretty much […]
Spaceship Earth Can’t Read a Newspaper, for Crying Out Loud
Spaceship Earth has a noble goal. To tell the story of communication. But it would help if its characters knew how to handle a newspaper.
Haunted Mansion View-Master 3D
It’s hard to believe there have now been three new Batman movies. I still feel like the third Batman movie is the one with Jim Carrey. How could that possibly have been 17 years ago? There are NBA players who are barely older than that. At least The Dark Knight Rises is not being released in […]
“Singin’ in the Rain” is Disney’s Favorite Non-Disney Song
Singin’ in the Rain returned to theaters tonight in one of those Fathom events that you sometimes see commercials for at movie theaters. You know these things. Pay inflated prices to watch a simulcast rock concert from Berlin, or gasp in horror as Andrew Lloyd Webber desperately tries to recapture the magic of his younger […]
Time Rovers: Victory Through Air Power
“In a breathtaking blend of science and technology, we have created the Time Rover: an amazing vehicle which will literally transport you to the age of the dinosaurs. How? That’s proprietary.” These are the words of Dr. Marsh, whose messy divorce from Dr. Nigel Channing fractured the Dino Imagination Institute into separate, disparate entities. She […]
This Stunningly Boring Office Facade is a Theming Masterpiece
As a long-time park fan, it’s always fun for me when first-timers get hit over the head with a classic bit of Disney magic. Some people truly have no idea just how great the parks are — until they round the corner and see a boring office facade. My all-time favorite bit of boring office […]