5 Greatest Disney Rides by Decade: The 1950s

For more than a thousand generations, the theme park did not exist. And then suddenly in the 1950s, Disneyland was born unto us. Now twelve theme parks adorn the Disney crown. Each one boasts its own important milestones in innovation, creativity, and thrills. I mean, except for that Studios park in Paris. What is the […]

‘Skipper Dan’ Jungle Cruise Parody by “Weird Al” Yankovic Still Greatest Park Song

Exactly 10 years ago, Grammy-winning recording artist and Parkeology personal hero “Weird Al” Yankovic dropped a series of five tracks onto an unsuspecting internet. It contained mostly original songs, parodying the styles of bands like The Doors and Queen. Mixed in was an innocuous 4-minute track called Skipper Dan, a cautionary tale of a Jungle […]

50 Greatest Park Characters: Aztec Heat

Last week Shane showcased another five of his favorite cards RIGHT HERE. As I have discussed in the past I was around 14 when EPCOT Center opened. As an adolescent boy my hormones were raging like bulls in Pamplona, out of control and seeking something to gore. Unfortunately I was also a Disney fan and […]

This Sad and Lonely Crocodile Will Eat You

I think I read somewhere that journeys into the jungle are supposed to be dark and intense. Nobody ever says “I’ve returned fresh from the jungle.” They always come back half-starved, half-mad, half-naked, and half-bumpy from parasitic insects. But I’m starting to get suspicious about the Jungle Cruise. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems […]

Return to Opening Day: Magic Kingdom 1971

Put on those bellbottoms, grab yourself a bandana, and brush out that Afro. We’re traveling to the groovy 70s, baby, for a date with destiny! Here age relives fond memories of the past and all that. Opening Day crowds were estimated to go as high as 100,000 people — all of them crammed onto I-4 […]

Five Park Tributes in Disney’s Animated Features

So earlier this week, my brother pointed me in the direction of a rather cool little quiz, which has nothing to do with parks and everything to do with Disney. It lists out every Disney movie every made (presumably under the Walt Disney label) and asks you how many you’ve seen. I started strong, trailed […]

Alternate Fantasy – Bizarro Adventureland

The strangest thing about Disneyland’s Adventureland is that the Treehouse is in the middle of the motherlovin’ sidewalk. It’s no secret that I have an unhealthy fascination with Magic Kingdom’s Swiss Family Treehouse. I love the way it’s perched out there on its own plant-infested island, sweltering in the hot florida sun. I love that […]

Making My Own Philharmagic

This is a bit of a departure today from our usual hard-hitting news and breathtaking secrets, but today I would like to spend a few moments talking about a serious disorder that affects 9 out of every 10 parkeologists.  It’s called GAS, which doctors inform me stands for Giveit Away Syndrome. In one sense, it’s […]