Theme Park Life

6 Times Rogue One Ripped Off Old Disney Attractions

The media tells me that Rogue One is the Star Wars prequel fans have been dreaming about since 1977. This assumes that fans have not been dreaming about galactic trade disputes between quasi-political federations. Rogue One is actually pretty great. But in the words of Luke Skywalker, there’s something familiar about this place. That desperate band […]

Nintendo Announces Disney Version of NES Classic Edition

The hottest gift this holiday season is the NES Classic Edition, a video game system that Nintendo created by jamming a USB cable directly into my brain and downloading my childhood. The NES Classic Edition contains 30 timeless games from the Nintendo Entertainment System’s heyday. And if I don’t get one for Christmas, I will […]

Man Achieves Lifelong Dream of Trading with Jawas

History was made this past weekend as an Orlando man finally completed a 40-year quest, trading worthless garbage with non-verbal junk dealers known as Jawas. The man, described as a parkeologist in his early 40s, first heard of trading with Jawas while watching the 1977 film Star Wars, a space fantasy by George Lucas. In […]

Disney Springs Awakens Ancient Bloodthirsty Creature

When Disney Springs opened the Coca-Cola Store back in July, it came with mysterious signage promoting a future encounter with the soda company’s lovable polar bears, housed inside a secret room in the middle of the store. Now, thanks to the daring photography of field parkeologist Dena L., we can see that this was all a cover […]

Tokyo Disney’s 45 Rides: A Preview Ranking

In just two weeks comes a theme park challenge of mythic proportions… The two halves of Team Parkeology will board airplanes from our respective corners of the country and fly halfway around the world, where we will be reunited at the Tokyo Disney Resort. And there — in the span of just four days!! — […]

The 10 Lines You Wait In (Before Getting to the Rides)

Years ago, Disney embarked on a super secret project to re-invent the theme park experience. It came with an abbreviated nickname straight out of Silicon Valley. They called it NextGen. How totes adorbs of them. NextGen promised a turnstile-free park entrance, FastPasses without pesky paper slips, and a breezy vacation experience utterly devoid of hassle. […]

50 Greatest Park Characters: The Final Chapter – Saving the Best For Last

Two months ago Parkeology unleashed what is indisputably the most popular series about possibly fictional 1980’s vintage theme park trading cards ever to appear on the Internet. In fact the response has been so overwhelming that it is perhaps only rivaled by our explosive expose on Martin Short. In case you somehow missed them you […]