Well maybe it’s not that dire, but we have always tried to keep a unique angle on Disney around here.
That’s not to say that we don’t love what the many (many, many) other Disney sites provide. In fact we can’t get enough of it. But lets be honest… the world does not need more of the same.
There are Disney sites to cover all possible interests and points of view:
The Disney news sites give you minute by minute updates covering all of the major mega events. Yes, a new slightly paler shade of yellow is now being used on the Fantasyland garbage cans and the news sites are onsite live to give you a 200 image photo report of the big news (jokes on me… the Fantasyland garbage cans are lavender… not yellow you fool).
There are the various Disney trip-planning sites. These are invaluable sources of such insider tips as “Head back to the hotel around lunch time for a quick dip in the pool.” They also offer details on various ways to steal fountain drinks from the resorts (and ways to justify it as being OK, if you need that sort of thing). Indeed they also provide inaccurate ride wait times and host annual debates about how the admission prices have gone too high.
Some of our favorites are the Disney history sites… we love them. These are the places to go to learn how stupid you are for not being born at the right time. You can be taught how you are too young to appreciate when Disney parks were really great, or determine that you are too old to understand why removing the Big Ass Hat was the worst thing that has ever happened. These sites also provide grainy video and photos that may make you wonder if “If You Had Wings” was really as good as all the old timers insist it was.
There are also the “bad boy” sites. These are the fringe sites where bloggers act like they are too rebellious to actually enjoy Disney on anything more than an ironic level and that they go to the parks mostly to get drunk (because Disney is the best place to do that obviously). If you are lucky you may get to see someone venture backstage (SHOCKING!)… good times.
Of course there are the expansive wastelands of the Disney boards where people go to argue, flame each other and try desperately to force their opinions on all others… that sounds like fun.
Then there are the official Disney sites set up to pump out press releases and tell fans why removing beloved rides is actually a good thing and that new baggage handling procedures are much more interesting than new rides ever would be.
There are even sites that are so crazy and so “out there” (often created by those who are insanely over the top in love with one singular aspect of Disney) that they seem to exist only to make us feel better about ourselves… surely we are not as freaky as THEY are!
The point is that Disney is very well represented on the World Wide Web… and the truth is that Parkeology, for all of our snarky remarks, is actually a bit of all of the above rolled into one. We certainly talk about new rides and old rides. We delve into history and you are damn straight that our point of view based solely on our opinions and informed by our ages is THE correct view and all others are wrong… and if you tell us you like the freaking hat you may have a fight on your hands. We wander around hotels looking to links to the past, we occasionally venture to places we maybe shouldn’t, and we do stupid things all the time.
So sure… we are a bunch of hypocrites who condemn others and then do the exact same things ourselves… But at least we admit it!
But what does any of this have to do with running out of ideas?
Well, my friend, today is when we cross the line into perhaps one of the lowest forms of Disney web site: The Cute Zone.
You know… these are sites that feature saccharine sweet essays about how adorable that newest Cinderella shower curtain is. They tend to focus on the characters and are run by people who consider the Disney stable of princesses to be core home decorating options. They may have blogs discussing where and when to meet college kids dressed up in foam costumes (i.e.: character meet and greets) or breathlessly talk about the new Mickey shaped cupcake now available on Main Street.
We have generally shied away from this zone because well… you know… it’s creepy. But all that changes today, baby!
As weird and odd and even uncomfortable as some of these things are, they can also actually be interesting on several levels. First of all on just a surface level that new Mickey cupcake may be delicious, or at least look good enough to trick you into thinking it is delicious (it’s probably not). On a deeper level it can give some insight to the culture Disney are marketing to and how far people are willing to go to continue the fantasy… not just going on rides, but dressing as their favorite characters, living in homes decorated with them and even eating as them.
So now that I have tried in vein to justify this post I’ll just get to the point: We wondered if Disney has done such a good job of convincing us how essential it is to own things shaped like Mickey Mouse that maybe it was possible to go an entire day at a Disney resort eating only Mickey Shaped foods (I told you right up front that we were running low in the ideas department).
For our test we chose Tokyo Disney Resort because it is the epicenter of cuteness and caters to a generally wealthy and Disney obsessed fan base that are seemingly happy to spend more money than necessary on anything molded like a mouse. If this can be done, Tokyo is the place to do it.
And to be clear we are not talking about eating 16 Mickey ice cream bars and calling it a day. We want legit meals and we don’t want to repeat any food items… so you get ONE Mickey bar a day… sorry.
Well this is a slam-dunk and the easiest of all the meals. You can grab Mickey shaped muffins and the very cleverly named “Meat Patty Danish” to start the day. If that mystery meat Danish does not sound too great, how about a Tuna and Corn version to get things off to a good start?
I think the Mickey Shaped Waffles are probably the way to go though… they are a classic and there is no arguing that they look like Mickey (in mini size as well nonetheless)… so breakfast is covered six ways to Sunday.
The most classic lunch item of all theme park foods is probably the burger so a Mickey Shaped affair fits the lunch bill just fine. The bun, the patty, and the cheese are all Mickey shaped. If you have a picky eater maybe you prefer some Mickey shaped chicken nuggets. They have you covered as well.
Maybe you need a little extra something, How about a Mickey steamed bun? This is a traditional Chinese dish generally found as part of a Dim Sum meal but increasingly becoming popular as a savory snack. Often stuffed with pork or other meat, Disney offers a teriyaki version complete with a tiny bow tie.
Should you prefer a sweeter rendition you can pick up a Minnie Mouse version filled with Strawberries and milk.
OK, have your freaking Mickey Ice Cream bar now… of course they have them, they also have a cool Orange sherbet bar with great detail.
Or how about a hot pretzel?
Or a Brownie?
Or a Cookie?
Or Churro? (One of the more clever ones)
Frankly there are too many various sweet treats to list… Rice Krispy bars, candy, chocolate, candy apples, Jell-O… if it can be shaped like Mickey and eaten as a snack, they have it.
We are in Tokyo so lets go traditional Japanese… I’m not totally convinced that this counts but clearly that tuna has been scooped into a Mickey shape on purpose… so I’m accepting it. And there is no arguing that the dessert item is full on Mickey head (and gelatinous. They love gelatinous textures in Asia).
The kids meal has a throwaway Mickey carrot… it’s something at least.
Or you could eat this instead:
But lets say you want to fly half way across the world and then eat Mexican food for some inexplicable reason. No problem. This fajita plate may not be 100% Mickey shaped but the rice is trying really hard to carry the load… we will give them a pass here.
They are so into Mickey shaped food that you can buy fake Mickey shaped food Merchandise.
Well we did it! Not only did we complete the challenge but we have made it through this post about adorably cute Disneyfied food as well. We will also post a 45 minute video covering the day’s meals and set up a separate Official Parkeology Mickey’s “Three Square Meals” challenge page for those interested in attempting this on their own. We will need to see time dated photos of each meal for verification… but for now I’m breaking out the Mickey cookie-cutters and going nuts on some bologna.